Exploring the meaning of existence
It’s been quite a weekend. A weekend of ups and downs.
I was talking to a friend yesterday discussing a wide array of topics and issues, and I realised that I’m actually quite glad to be human. It’s painful definitely - to feel the urge to live for my curiosity and desire to explore, observe, and to learn the many physical and psychological wonders of this world and this universe, yet feeling like dying at the very same time. But through writing my thoughts down I felt like I’ve been struck by some sort of random epiphany.
In that very moment I remembered a portion from one of Watsky’s poems:
Get it through your brain, inject it in your vein
Get infected with the strain
The strange idea you’re a reflection of the greats who came before
More than science
Our bodies our history’s oldest appliance
We’re piggyback riding the shoulders of giants
Which is how we survive when the ceilings keep getting higher
And the light bulbs keep burning out
We learn by word of mouth
And when your time has passed, don’t drag each other down
It made me realise that from the very first few humans, this species has learnt to observe, experiment, and solve their own problems to adapt - cold, hunger etc. And then they learnt to invent things! I suddenly realised that the amount of things that have been invented through the entire span of human history - it seems to be crazy uncountable. In that moment I was like, whoa. Wow. WOW.
We’re intelligent life forms.
Curiosity. The full grasp of our five senses. The ability to observe and deduce. Sciences. Understanding natural phenomenon. Astronomy. Physics. Biology. Chemistry. Understanding how things operate. Inventing machinery and tools and even little tiny parts like bolts and hex nuts and spanners. The wonders of the world. The coming of languages and the system of writing, cooperation and the coming of civilisations. Cultures. Expression and communication for our emotions. Fine arts. Music. Dance. Performing arts. Literature. Sports and games. Love. Friendship. Family.
We also have the ups and downs of human nature. Ideas and emotions and understanding. Selfishness. Greed. Things that led to war. And living in a post-war era now, we have been educating these few generations to realise the damage and dangers of forcing people to believe in your ideas with violence. That violence and terrorism is not a good way to solve problems. It is to let this generation not repeat the massive destruction to our own kind when it’s time for us to take the wheel and to not make the mistakes that they have made.
In the moment I was extremely overwhelmed by all this that has existed in the world before I was even born. Thousands of years’ worth of things that led and evolved up to this day.
Am I glad to be a human being? Yes.
And the fact that we have this ability that other animals don’t? I guess it’s to be used, right?
Therefore I have realised that the theoretical advantage for our species’ existence in general is to learn and to feel. To learn by observing, experiencing, experimenting, and the concept of logic, the concept of deducing, and we also have the amazing ability to experience this wide range of emotions and be able to express them the way we can right now. Sometimes it’s stressful and painful, but on a horrible day when the world seems to be so ugly and hopeless, one needs to remember that it’s sometimes a matter of how you look at things. Sometimes the bad things that happen in this world make it look so horribly twisted. Some people out there may even make you ashamed to be human. One has to remember that not everyone is the same. One has to remember to hang in there and remember that there will always, always be something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be spectacular all the time either. It could be almost anything. That next cup of coffee, that next train ride, that next drawing, that next new friend you’re going to make, that next thing you’re about to realise and learn, that next thing that’s about to make you grin and realise that the little things in life do matter too. Sometimes it’s not about shooting for the moon and dancing among the stars. Sometimes one needs to realise that an entire generation put together, without having to do anything excessive, is shaping the world together as a whole. You have to look way out to see it, but it is happening. You will always be a part of something bigger, and it wouldn’t be the same without you, whether you can see it or not. Everyday you are influencing the people in your life and vice versa. Everything that you do, every decision that you make, every word that you breathe and every step that you take in pursuit for your own experiences, is unique. Its benefits start with you, and it is not selfish at all. In fact, ideas and individuality pushes a whole generation forward - because you inspire everyone in your life in one way or another. Whether it’s a stranger you have talked to for only 5 minutes, or a friend you have known for 5 years. You set things and factors in their lives in motion and they carry on to also be parts of others, and the chain goes on and on and on and around the world, back to you and around the world again etc. The cross overlapping of many events in time lead to something more. Every person has their own individual timeline that has billions of possibilities of what could be. It is exciting.
Realising this also made me see that although I’m one in billions, there will be no other like me - every single person experiences things differently, and living up to anyone else’s set expectations and standards seemed all very secondary to me. I am here to learn and expand my mind. I am here to love and to share. I am here to express and explore the human condition without keeping too close of an eye to the stress caused by the concept of time. I do not fear life and I shouldn’t be afraid of what can be. I am me, and I’m glad to be.