myhotCaffeine: Blog

I yawned. It tasted like a light cigarette and also irritated my throat really badly. That shit...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 14:52:00 +0800

I yawned. It tasted like a light cigarette and also irritated my throat really badly. That shit hurts.

There is just thick-ass haze everywhere and I’m fed-up with constantly checking the numbers. It doesn’t seem to have cleared at all. In fact, if anything, it seems to be getting only worse.

Going to try to get some sleep now. And hopefully I don’t wake up coughing becaue of the haze again this time.

I was just sitting here thinking about my first few phone conversations with you: how we dived...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 14:25:53 +0800

I was just sitting here thinking about my first few phone conversations with you: how we dived straight into such deep conversations and manage to make each other laugh so much, and how a very interesting and powerful dynamic just kicked off straight away. The subconscious immediate psychic bond. Some kind of pull towards each other that we both felt. We never stopped talking. Isn’t it magical? It still does blow my mind and it still makes me smile with nostalgia today. Every time I recall it all, I feel so happy that I still have you in my life right now. I love you so much :) Sleep tight.

I fell asleep together with my dear girl over the phone and then I woke up coughing my lungs off...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:48:00 +0800

I fell asleep together with my dear girl over the phone and then I woke up coughing my lungs off because guess what PSI SHOT UP AGAIN Y’ALL I AM SO ANNOYED FOR THIS HAZE DISTURBING MY LIFE

PSI: 371 @ 1PM

Fuck.

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 11:09:15 +0800

As I lay down, my injured knee made the loudest crackling noise.

Good. Fucking. Lord.

Fuck. Be back soon.

He snarls at me as I flee, screaming at him to stay away from me. He always manages to yank me by...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 10:41:00 +0800

He snarls at me as I flee, screaming at him to stay away from me. He always manages to yank me by the wrist, leaving me bruised with insanity. He sometimes runs ahead of me, making sure he trips me over. He whispers in my ears on good days, telling me how they will fade to grey. Like an old nemesis he takes the form of a dark silky cloak, fitting right onto me. On some days he rages and he strangles me. On some nights he wakes me up and tortures me. Sometimes he shows up in someone else’s eyes, hijacking my thoughts and peering through me. Even in bad moments he makes sure nobody’s there to catch me. He hides me from the world with his simple strategy. Regardless of how I’d ever feel, he makes it a point to follow me. Perched across my neck, weighing on my back, clasping my shoulders and manipulating me. He breathes poisonous delusions and he makes me see - mental images to disturb my peace. He is my worst enemy, from birth he’s been. He hides inside me, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

It is NOT possible to have the PSI reading at 153 as of right now - because it looks even foggier...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 10:27:51 +0800

It is NOT possible to have the PSI reading at 153 as of right now - because it looks even foggier than yesterday evening. I don’t even think it’s the right number, since it’s the 3 hour average. Considering that the actual high was 453 yesterday instead of the 290 that they told us, yeah. Pretty much don’t even know what to believe anymore. The news is just all haywire and I’m just too annoyed with the entire situation to care. I just want it to go away.

Sulphur dioxide, oxides of nitrogen, ozone, carbon monoxide, PM10 and PM2.5 - asthma, eczema, nasal allergies, eye allergies and bronchitis and other breathing or heart diseases.

Don’t even think I need to explain what carbon monoxide does because that’s basically what’s been making me feel slightly faint and drained. And yeah, this might be a real big health hazard.

Rain to clear this mes up for at least the time being or a few hours would be great right now. However, the weather doesn’t seem to be anywhere near that so it looks like we’ll have to put up with this a bit more. In the meantime, I’ll just stay inside my room but all this cooping up is making me very uncomfortable because I really really want to go out. I’ve been at home for weeks. I want to get out of here now that I’ve finally overcome myself.

It’s not helping.

This must be what your words taste like.

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:44:00 +0800

This must be what your words taste like.

This would be my supervillian/domination theme song. I would...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:20:00 +0800

This would be my supervillian/domination theme song. I would very much listen to this if I’m dominating a tough strategy game. THE POWER AND THE RUSH WORTHY OF AN INTJ.

Sometimes I don’t like that a lot of villians are INTJs but when they have soundtracks as epic as this one I don’t really mind that much.

But I actually do have a lot in common with the Master.. A lot.

Ahhhhh love that they took another alternative refreshing take...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 07:33:00 +0800

Ahhhhh love that they took another alternative refreshing take by laying down chiptune and 8bit elements :) Mmmmmmmmmm

Mark Reynolds

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:23:22 +0800

Mark Reynolds

mechasulu replied to your post: I was most possibly having one of the best...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:19:00 +0800

mechasulu replied to your post: I was most possibly having one of the best sleeps…

what!!!!!!!! if you are coming to nyc please let me know i would love to see you!

When I do, I promise I will! I’d love to meet you too :) Hanging out with you sounds super fun to me already haha I wish you were one of my daily everyday life friends :( I’m thinking hopefully by next summer. I would most likely be able to afford a trip by then, and I’m most likely going to be staying for as long as from two weeks up to a month or so, depending. Whereabouts in New York do you live?

Hang on wait. I remember you saying something about being near Jersey right?

I was most possibly having one of the best sleeps in such a long time, so comfy and all that and I...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:12:00 +0800

I was most possibly having one of the best sleeps in such a long time, so comfy and all that and I just had to wake up at half past four in the middle of the night again. WHY?! Ugh jeez.

I wish I was in NYC. But I would be too tired to function if I was walking along the streets right now. Well. I want a big yummy bagel though. Mm. Coffee too perhaps. And also to be with that one amazing special girl who makes me feel so complete.

She is so beautiful.

I have a little list of things I want to curiously try there with her:
- Muffins’ cooking. Mm :) Cooking with Muffins!
- Bagels. And other food that I’ve always wanted to try.
- Running down a grassy hill while there’s a cold breeze
- Laying back on the grass hill on a mat to look at the sky and drifting clouds. Maybe almost fall asleep but making myself wake up because I don’t want any shit to be stolen
- Take lots and lots and lots of pictures and videos. Like almost super often.
- Sit on a bench at Central Park and hold up a sign “Tell me your story (try to make it good)” and offer people a dollar for their stories. If they are sincere people, I might give more. And of course, everything would be documented.
- Go longboarding together provided my knee hasn’t gone all busted
- Read a book out somewhere where there’s birds and trees and greenery
- Port Jeff
- Empire State Building? Statue of Liberty? Sounds a little too touristy
- I’d like to see Times Square
- Manhattan
- Brooklyn is a must
- MASSACHUSETTS Cape Cod
- Andover
- Boston. JOHNNY CUPCAKES. AND MUSEUMS.
- Staring at buildings across water and studying the skyline and infrastructure with the lights
- I kind of am too tired to think but there’s way more to be shared or told

Right now I just want to hold her hand please I want to hold her hand

and drag her into a piano shop and then I’m going to just let my inner world take over

Falling asleep maybe could be should be please

explore-blog: Kierkegaard on why anxiety helps rather than...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:21:43 +0800

explore-blog:

Kierkegaard on why anxiety helps rather than hinders creativity.

:) This makes me glad.

Credits: Imran

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:03:00 +0800

Credits: Imran

Who would’ve known that this haze and a bad pun would lead me to having a nice chat with two...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 01:10:00 +0800

Who would’ve known that this haze and a bad pun would lead me to having a nice chat with two of my favourite lecturers from my Polytechnic days :) They are such wonderful people. Kind-hearted Mr David, who always took extra time out of his schedule and free personal time to help us with our assignments whenever we needed to be guided on 3D and visual effects, and always just being so patient with us (and me, I was such a problematic student). And Mr Szeyang who encouraged me to try exploring compositions and music, and taught me how to observe and layer from any form of sound that touches my ears - actually increasing my connection and awareness to sounds, something that’s very important to me today. He also guided me and made sure I pushed myself and scored an A for my audio module, which is very nice of him.

And they are both such geeks. And I think it’s important for grownups like these two grown men still embracing their hobbies and toys and all these cool good stuff. I guess there’s an inner child shining in all of us. Age is nothing but just digits :) Ahhhhhh :D

Now we’re discussing how this haze could be combined with laser light shows and subwoofers to party hard like it’s some kind of rave - and suggesting SzY to write a thesis about it to observe what would happen if all the units in one apartment block had all-synchronised subwoofer systems and blasted music out and then observe the sounds and amplification properties as they go through the air and also bounce off all the other buildings in the neighbourhood.

Acoustic reflection/amplification research on varying materials and geometric arrangements!

And then throw in a smoke machine and some lasers to party hard.

Look at the amount of geek and science going on while still embracing video games and music. This is why I love them - because nobody can geek out with me discussing such things. These concepts and ideas are super fun. The fun you get with two geeky intuitive introverts in the same field!

If local post also gets delayed because of this crazy-ass haze (it hit 453 just now, btw) as if me...

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:40:50 +0800

If local post also gets delayed because of this crazy-ass haze (it hit 453 just now, btw) as if me feeling super unwell and giddy/faint from breathing in this toxic ass smoke air isn’t bad enough, IF MY BOOKS FROM MUFFINS DON’T ARRIVE THIS WEEK BECAUSE OF THE HAZE DELAYING THE POST I AM GOING TO STAB SOMEBODY.

WOOHOO CAN’T SEE SHIT

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:01:03 +0800

WOOHOO CAN’T SEE SHIT

“I am Bradley Manning” (HD)

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 23:34:40 +0800

“I am Bradley Manning” (HD)

In other words we are fuckedHi we have now entered the realm of...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:32:00 +0800

In other words we are fucked

Hi we have now entered the realm of Silent Hill. Please now go to your kitchen and take all your knives and prepare your tools and pans and torchlights because THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU

“there is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow movement of the hands...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:44:25 +0800

“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.

people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.

people just are not good to each other
one on one.

the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.

we are afraid.

our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.

it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.

or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone

untouched
unspoken to

watering a plant.”
― Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell